Why Being “Reasonable” Holds You Back

Do you consider yourself to be reasonable? If you do, you’re normal. You’re also like everybody else. Most of us are followers—we take sides, follow groups, and want to fit in. In dentistry, I was trained to be cautious and practice in a certain way. But I wasn’t taught how to relate to people. That’s where the book Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara struck me. He explains the importance of being unreasonable—going above and beyond in ways that surprise and delight.

Lessons from Hospitality

In restaurants, ratings matter—Michelin stars, top 100 rankings, and more. Guidara’s restaurant went from number 99 in the world to number one in just one year by committing to “unreasonable hospitality.” Instead of being like every other restaurant, they found ways to wow their guests. For example, when a guest requested a hot dog in a fine dining setting, Guidara went out, bought one from a vendor, and plated it as if it were a five-star dish. That guest didn’t remember the caviar—but they remembered the hot dog.

The Danger of Blockages

On the other hand, small blockages can destroy trust and loyalty. I once asked for salt on an egg sandwich at a deli. They refused, saying it had already been salted in the kitchen. That tiny refusal was enough to make me decide never to return. In dentistry, similar “reasonable” refusals can push patients away. Being unreasonable in the right way creates joy and loyalty—while being “reasonable” in the wrong way builds blockages.

Beyond Clinical Skills

Too often, dentistry is shown only through before-and-after photos of perfect teeth. But patients don’t just experience dentistry through outcomes—they live through the process: time, cost, pain, and the human experience. That part is rarely talked about, yet it’s often what matters most.

Giving More Than You Receive

Seth Godin writes that being unreasonable is actually remarkable because most people never commit to it. Going above and beyond for patients, teams, and even vendors isn’t always easy, but it brings joy. When you get out of yourself and focus on others, everyone benefits—including you. It’s not transactional—it’s transformational.

I experienced this with a long-time employee who lost their insurance due to a missed deadline. By making calls and pulling strings, we got it reinstated. This prevented stress for the employee and saved me the cost and disruption of replacing them. Helping others isn’t just generous—it’s wise.

Creating a Niche Practice

Look for opportunities to create wow experiences. Don’t nickel and dime patients—offer more than they expect. When patients feel cared for beyond the technical work, they become raving fans who refer and stay loyal. A niche practice isn’t built on perfect sutures or crowns—it’s built on integrity, empathy, and generosity.

As Will Guidara, Seth Godin, and even the Bible remind us: give more than you receive. That’s how you build trust, loyalty, and ultimately a life of joy and meaning. Always look for ways to surprise and delight—because that’s how you go from ordinary to extraordinary.