Have You Read The Four Agreements?

Most of us have—or at least we’ve heard of it. It’s a book by Don Miguel Ruiz, and it talks about four agreements:

1. Be impeccable with your word

2. Don’t take things personally

3. Don’t make assumptions

4. Always do your best

Let’s talk about how these relate to dentistry.

Be Impeccable with Your Word

What does it mean to be impeccable with your word? It means to be honest.

Isn’t that important? The first step always starts with being honest. I cannot make any positive steps forward in my life if I’m not being honest. And that includes when I’m talking to patients—I need to be honest with them.

Let’s look at how we, as doctors, treat patients. But before that, let me briefly cover the other four agreements.

Are We Honest with Our Patients?

Being honest—that’s a slam dunk. But are most of us really honest with our patients? I think a lot of us make assumptions about what patients are thinking, and we’re not being fully honest with them.

We tell them part of the truth—the truth we think they’ll accept. But it’s really none of my business to decide what a patient will accept. My job is to tell them the truth so they can make the best decision for themselves.

By being honest, being impeccable with my word, and doing the best I can for my patients, guess what? They get the best care. Because they can take ownership of what’s going to happen in the future.

Don’t Make Assumptions

The second agreement—don’t assume—is also very important. I can’t assume what my patient wants to do because I’m biased.

I’m a doctor, a dentist. I know a lot about periodontal disease, crowns, restorations, extractions, bone grafting, connective tissue grafts, and orthodontics—things my patients don’t know about.

Because of that, I naturally have a bias for dentistry. My responsibility is not to make assumptions, but to give them information.

And guess what? As I’m assuming, the patients are assuming too. They assume I’m going to do what benefits me—that I’ll recommend treatments because I’ll make money doing them.

That’s why I try to clear the air by creating an open and honest environment where everything is clear, vulnerable, and transparent. No assumptions—just real conversations.

Don’t Take Things Personally

The third agreement—don’t take things personally—is something many of us struggle with.

I was on a phone call yesterday with someone in another field, not a doctor—he was in finance. He was very incompetent, and it bothered me. He was lying, making assumptions about the financial situation we were discussing.

It doesn’t matter what the situation was, but he was much younger than me—about 30 years younger. He wasn’t being impeccable with his word, he was making assumptions, and he was taking things personally.

When I said to him, “I don’t like the way you’re talking. I want to talk about this differently,” he made the conversation about money personal.

At the end of the conversation, I decided I wasn’t going to work with him anymore. I’d rather work with the senior person. I didn’t think he had the integrity to work with me.

Because he took things personally, made assumptions, and wasn’t his word, he lost the business.

We often do the same thing in dentistry.

How many of you are booked four months in advance? How many have a 90% case acceptance rate for comprehensive treatment? Or are you telling patients, “We’ll do this one crown because that’s what the insurance will cover,” and then plan to do another next year?

When we don’t give the patient all the information, we’re violating one of The Four Agreements.

Always Do Your Best

The fourth agreement—do your best—is a slam dunk. Shouldn’t you always try to do your best? We were taught that in kindergarten, weren’t we?

But do we always do our best? Do we ever say, “I need to be out by 5:00,” and skip spending an extra half hour with a patient, even when it’s important?

If you want to improve your practice—and your life—read this book. Study The Four Agreements. I think about them every day. I even have a copy in my office.

When an employee comes in with a complaint, I ask:

• Are you taking it personally?

• Are you making an assumption about that patient?

• Are you doing your best?

• Are you being your word?

Usually, one of The Four Agreements is being violated.

A Final Thought

Take a look at The Four Agreements. It’s simple wisdom, but it changes everything.

Do your best. Don’t take things personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always be your word.

When you live by these principles, you become a gift to the people you serve.