Are Your Patients More Important Than You?

I always say, be the gift. What I mean by that is: be the gift to those who we serve. In our case as healthcare providers, that means our patients.

What Matters Most in Building a Practice?

I frequently ask audiences that I lecture to—colleagues, patients, and team members—about four key things: yourself, your team, your patients, and referrals. Which of these is the most important in building a practice?

It’s usually split. About 50% say the team, and 50% say the patients. Most people don’t think that “self” is that important, or that referrals are as important. But without referrals, I won’t have patients referred to me. However, without myself, I can’t do the work I need to do.

The Dentist’s Dilemma: Stress and Self-Neglect

What I’ve seen—not only among dentists or healthcare providers—is that people get busy, especially after their 30s. They start having a family, kids, they develop debt, buy a house, pay school loans or business loans. They start spending more than they’re making, or they’re trying to pay down debt and save at the same time. That adds a lot of stress.

As a result, they focus on great patient care—working for the patient—and forget the most important instrument they have: themselves.

The Value of Health

There’s a saying:
“A man (or woman) with health has a thousand dreams, but a man (or woman) without health has but one.”

Your health is the most important commodity you have.

Dentists Are Like Professional Athletes

A friend once said to me, “As a dentist or healthcare provider, you're like a professional athlete.” Athletes have to be in great shape because they use their bodies to perform. And while you don’t have to be in the same shape as a pro athlete to do dentistry, it will hurt if you don’t take care of yourself.

For about 20 years of my career, I worked 70 hours a week. I wasn’t stretching or doing yoga. Long surgical procedures left me in pain. I’d look at a three-hour procedure on my schedule and think, “I’m going to be in a lot of pain.”

The Power of Self-Care

Then I started stretching, doing yoga, visiting a chiropractor, trying acupuncture, and more. Today, I’ve been pain-free for 20 years. From ages 30 to 50, I was in constant pain. But now, I feel pretty good because I take better care of myself.

If I don’t take care of myself, I can’t be of service to my team or my patients. So, when looking at that list—self, team, patients, referrals—the most important in my opinion is yourself.

The Critical Role of Your Team

Second most important? Not my patients—my team.

Without my team, I can’t serve my patients. If you’ve ever gone into the office on a Saturday to treat an emergency—like re-cementing a crown—by yourself, you know it takes an hour or more. But during the workday, with your team there, it’s a four-minute visit. They do everything for you.

Without a team, I’m inefficient, stressed, and can’t deliver great service. My team comes before patients, because I can’t serve patients well without them.

Be Selfish to Be of Service

You have to make time for yourself. Make yourself as important as the people you serve.

I remember my dad would get upset with me because I’d go for a run before dinner. He’d say, “You’re always thinking about yourself.” And I’d say, “Yes, because unless I’m in shape, I can’t be of service to others.”

Dan Sullivan, one of my mentors, says:
“There are no rules. It’s all made up. There’s nobody in charge—you’re in charge of your own future.”

Sleep, Exercise, and Mental Health

Without good physical health, you won’t have good mental health. When your body doesn’t feel well, stress gets to you.

That’s why I get seven to eight hours of sleep. I wear an Oura Ring to monitor it. Without sleep, I can’t function well.

LeBron James, one of the most conditioned athletes at 40, sleeps eight hours a night. So did Michael Jordan at the peak of his career. They took care of their bodies—and that’s why they had long careers.

My Morning Routine

I go to bed around 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. so I can wake up at 5:30 a.m. That gives me an hour and a half for myself.

During that time, I stretch, meditate, maybe pray, and exercise. Nobody bothers me at 6:00 a.m. By the time I get to work, I’ve already slept, worked out, and had some mindfulness time. Later in the day, I try to get in 30 more minutes of stretching or meditation.

Diet: Do Your Best

Diet is important too. I’m not perfect—I eat too much sugar at night—but I do my best. I try to drink more water and sleep well. I know what I should be doing, and I keep working at it.

Don’t Let Yourself Go

I see many colleagues between 35 and 55 let themselves go. I tell my kids in their 30s:
“When you turn 40, look in the mirror. You shouldn’t look any different than you did at 30.”

Why? Because your body starts to change. Metabolism slows down. You can’t get away with poor eating habits anymore. And on top of that, you’re working harder, have more debt, more stress—and you stop working out.

It’s a perfect storm for getting sick.

The Consequences of Neglect

As a periodontist, I take medical histories daily. I see patients who are on multiple medications, still smoking, and not taking care of themselves.

I walked into a room yesterday to see a patient my age—about to lose all her upper teeth. I’ve been treating her for 35 years. She never got cleanings regularly, didn’t brush well, smoked two packs a day since she was 20.

She said, “Wow, you aged well.”
I said, “Well, I haven’t been smoking for the last 50 years.”

She hasn’t done anything to take care of herself. She’s retired now—but miserable. She’s miserable because she didn’t take care of the most important person in her world: herself.

Final Thoughts: Be the Gift

Be selfish—not to be mean, but to be the gift to others. The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of those around you.

As dentists and healthcare providers, we sacrifice a lot. But the most important gift you can give the world is the best version of yourself.

Have a great day—and remember:
Be selfish. Take care of yourself.