Your Office Doesn't Present What You Think It Does - I Know First Hand
Aug 10, 2026
God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason.
We have all heard that expression. There is another one that I like: take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth so you can listen more and talk less.
As clinicians, leaders, mentors, and people who work with patients every day, we believe we know how to communicate. But a lot of us do not. A lot of us just talk at our patients.
I recently had an experience at an eye doctor’s office that made this glaringly obvious.
I went in for my annual visit and saw eight different people. There were three front desk staff members and about five clinical providers. The office was efficient. The people were moving. The systems worked.
But not one person introduced themselves to me.
I saw eight people. I do not know a single person’s name. There were no name tags. They did not know my name either.
Every interaction started the exact same way: “Date of birth.”
At the front desk, “Date of birth.”
In the clinical area, “Date of birth.”
During intake, the person had her back to me. “Date of birth. What medications are you on?”
Nobody really talked to me. Nobody asked me any questions. Nobody knew who I was.
I was not present as a human being.
The doctor was highly credentialed. He was probably an excellent clinician. But when he came into the room, he did not introduce himself. He started talking, did what he needed to do, and left.
There was no relationship.
That is what troubled me. Not because I thought I was getting poor medical care. I knew I was in capable hands. It troubled me because this was the experience the practice had deliberately created for every patient.
There was a coffee machine in the reception area. A patient asked if she could have a cup of coffee. The answer was, “No, it is for the employees only.”
Why put a coffee machine in the reception area if it is not for the patients?
The office had a five-month waiting list, so the system was working in that sense.
But it was the most anti-customer-service place I had ever been. In a healthcare system where many patients have limited options, that arrogance may survive. It should not be the model we follow in dentistry.
The Cost of Clinical Arrogance
Whether you are working for a DSO, working for another doctor, or running your own practice, you have a huge opportunity to stand out simply by acting like a human being.
Be present.
Ask a patient, “How are you?”
Ask, “What can I do for you today?”
These are simple questions. But they tell the patient that they are a person, not an appointment slot, a chart, or a treatment plan.
A patient does not need to understand every clinical detail before they can trust you. They do not need to hear about every furcation, abscess, myeloperoxidase level, or bacteroides level.
They want to know they are in the right place and that they will be taken care of.
They want to feel heard.
I had a young patient come into my office recently. It would have been easy to judge him. He had big diamond earrings. He was young. I thought he was a bit of a punk, if I am being honest. He was not very tall, so I did not think he was very athletic.
In the first few minutes, I learned he was 27 years old, in commercial real estate in New Haven, working in his family’s business, a Connecticut College graduate, and a former point guard who could still grab the rim at 5'7".
That impressed me. As a non-athlete, I am totally impressed with people who can do that.
But we were not talking about his teeth. We talked about basketball. We talked about his business.
We developed a relationship.
Then we talked about treatment.
He needed a major rehabilitation involving implants and grafting. It was a large case that would take about a year and a half. At the end of the discussion, he told me that he wanted to think about it, speak with his parents, and that he believed he was going to move forward.
I do not believe that happened because I used more clinical jargon or because I delivered a more sophisticated treatment presentation.
It happened because I asked questions and stopped talking long enough to hear him.
The Connection Comes Before the Case Acceptance
People are not listening to you immediately. They are watching you. They are deciding whether they feel comfortable with you. They are deciding whether they can trust you.
Once they feel understood, then they will listen to your recommendations. Once they know they are in the right place, they can hear your plan.
This is also true with our team members, our colleagues, and our children.
I cannot tell my team what to do.
I cannot tell my patients what to do.
I cannot tell my kids what to do.
They already know what to do.
I can ask more questions. I can listen more. I can be present and be the gift to them.
I am a big talker, so I am writing this as much for myself as for anybody else.
It is easy to believe that we know more than everyone else in the room.
It is easy to think we know the right way.
We do not.
We have to be teachable newcomers at every step of the way.
By being open, honest, and interested, I become more interesting.
Be the gift.
